What would you do?

I finally borrowed library books so was happily reading them on the train back home just now. When my train was approaching my stop, i tucked my book into my bag and looked up, preparing to get up from my seat -- i always get engrossed in my book and don't look around when i'm reading, so don't be offended if you see my nose in a book and i didn't acknowledge you! -- and alight.

I looked up and saw a sea of black pants. But out of the corner of my eye, i saw a little white triangular flag with red and blue stripes amongst the sea of black, and framed by little bronze serrated teeth at one side of the little striped flag. I took a peek up; the striped flag matched the striped counterpart above, and was cut off by a black band.

What would you have done?

tired tired tired...

I'm so tired these few days! My working hours have always generally been long with me often leaving after 6pm, but with V having his exams this week and next, and him being sick, i've to cover his duties this week. Z will take over the duties next week. And Z had the cheek to tell me yesterday that he wants to leave at 5pm every day next week cos he'll be tired! So i shot back at him, saying that i want to leave at 5pm too cos i'm tired as i've been in at 7am the whole week. But of course, i left yesterday at 1845. sigh...

I've been clocking 12 hours daily this whole week. This makes this week a 72-hour week! And it doesn't take into account my travel time of almost 2 hours daily! no wonder i'm so exhausted. Last week was quite bad too, working 10 to 11 hours daily. sigh sigh...

I'm on duty today. In fact, until i can get another ARM, i will be on Sat duty every week from 7am to 7pm. I've no choice; i have to arrange for a 12-hour roster so that the ARMs can have their day off. Either 4 work 12-hour shifts on weekends and we can get one day off per week, or 6 work 8-hour shifts and we all get no day off! So of course i arranged for the 12-hour shift lor. But then i kena from a half day Sat to really a half day Saturday! :(

But i still can't complain. Cos some of my workers have it bad too... I guess its how you look at it, huh? As i explained to a worker yesterday, he may look at my job and think i have it good, scolding cleaners daily and picking on them, while i may look at the staff here and think their job is good, picking on us daily, but you need to be in the job to understand the difficulties of the job.

So all i can say is, my hours are long but i'm glad i have a job. :)

You are terminated

I had to terminate the work permit of one of the workers today for non-performance and, more importantly, for insubordination. This cleaner has been generally uncooperative, defiant and did not follow the company's rules for the worksite. The final straw was when she refused to obey the supervisor's instructions and, when i informed the senior supervisor to tell her to receive a warning letter, she showed the middle finger and shouted at the supervisor in front of passengers.

I had to say those words to her today. Actually, i thought it was already done by her agent but it seems not! So i got my AA to terminate her work permit and that led to an hour's nagging and complaints by her. Luckily there was no vulgarities involved as she used that on the ARM once.

For me, the insubordination is the limit. She had also allegedly threatened in the past to get someone to beat up another cleaner. But as no warning letters was given to her -- she refused to sign -- i had no case to back me up.

On the way up from the station while staring at the dustballs by the station escalators, i thought that it is rather terrible to lose your job just like that, and so close to CNY. But then again, there are limits and i have to protect the other workers in the company as well. Frankly, i would rather have a shortfall than to have a staff who is a deadweight and a bully too.

Major Rail Trouble

I've been taking the first train out recently cos i wanted to be in before 7am, in order to see the 3rd shift people. Sleepiness doesn't exactly make it easier to bear the spot of Major Rail Trouble this morning!

The first sign of trouble was at the entrance, where the escalator wasn't running and the station doors were closed. After a while, the staff unlocked it but we heard announcements that there was no service between Tanah Merah & Pasir Ris. As that wasn't my destination, i wasn't too perturbed.

The journey was relatively smooth although the first train was late. But later before we reached Tanah Merah, the train stopped. It was later that I saw a west bound train leaving. My train went to the middle platform, and there was just a mess as those heading to Expo & Changi Airport had no clue if the train would be running there. There were no announcements too! sigh... Saw quite a number of the 1st shift guys but luckily, the train came after about a 10 minutes wait. Oh well... Things happen!

All quiet on the east bound track... but mayhem on the middle track!

My Precious, my Sam...

Horus just loves his precious Sam nowadays. He was so comfortably sleeping on Sam that when i disturbed him by tickling his ear hair and whiskers, he just turned around, buried his nose on Sam and continued sleeping! Poor Sam is being squashed by Horus!

Horus the Hopeful

Horus is an ever hopeful cat. Whenever he goes to the kitchen, he'll make a little detour to his food bowl and his water bowl to check if there is any recent addition. As if the tinkling of his kibbles into his bowl can escape his little catty ears' hearing! Dear says its probably cos we keep going 'mum mum!' and tricking him to his bowl whenever we want him out of our room. So he probably got the habit of making a check to assure himself he didn't miss out any stray kibbles. :) But he's a cute cat!

Any stray kibbles that i overlooked?

Chey... tio pian liao! no food again! (btw, that's my tail...)

Hand Chicken?

My Mandarin not that good, having flunked my CL1 before, but is 'hand chicken' the right Chinese 'spelling' for 'handphone'? Dear & i saw this bill stuck on the hoarding at the ABC Market today and had a good chuckle... Is it? Not being sarcastic and all, but really, is it? Cos i not sure... Except that it sounds weird! 'hand chicken'! haha! :)

Apples at hospital

Went to the hospital near my home for a follow-up scan today. Had to take unpaid leave cos i'm still on probation. Sigh... :( But good news at least, cos what was seen the last time wasn't there anymore, so i just have to go for another consultation next month.

While waiting for my turn -- i arrived half an hour early and in the end i saw the radiologist one hour after my appointment time! -- there was a nursing aid who was walking around with a basket of apples, which she offered to everyone waiting. So sweet of the clinic! Maybe next time i go, i'll take the apple offered cos it really was a long wait.

More pics of funny Horus

Dear took some photos of Horus using his phone. I think his is better... :)

Funny Horus

Horus now has the bad habit of sleeping on my pillow, as well as on my stuffed cat which dear bought for me. He will knead CatCat and then flop on it to sleep. Caught him yesterday sleeping on my pillow again, this time with his nose stuffed in the crook between his toy bear Sam and CatCat. Every now and then, i noticed he'll breathe deeply and sigh. sigh...

Dear woke up with Horus beside him. He was quite cross, but later relented and then covered Horus with the quilt. All through it, Horus didn't wake up! Think he must be dreaming of food, cos when i called out 'mum mum!' he looked up at me, then flopped back to sleep again. :) I think Sam looks like he's blessing Horus, especially with the light above him!

Horus was sleeping again on Sam just now. He's such a funny cat. I had to sleep with Sam after washing it, cos Horus didn't want Sam and kept going for CatCat. I think its cos CatCat has my smell and Sam had none, so after sleeping with Sam for a week, Horus now goes for Sam when i push him to it. Think i'll bring back my old pillow from mum's place so Horus can sleep on that instead of on my pillow...

Public Display of... Anger

I heard this very angry guy -- actually he looks more like a boy to me! -- in the train on my way home. He was talking so loudly that i couldn't help overhearing his handphone conversation with his wife. He was shouting at her, telling her he gives her so many things, he's already working so hard, why can't she understand, what more she wants etc. Suffice to say, there was quite a laundryload that was being washed in the train. Such a PDA! And nope, not Public Display of Affection, but Public Display of Anger!

Hmm... I suppose its always natural to seek better things for yourself and being women, for our offspring. This is true when you look at animals and even the cavemen. Don't the females look for more attractive or more powerful males to mate, who would then pass down their better genes to their offspring? This ensures their offspring have a better chance at surviving with the best available genes.

The shouting monologue made me think. Do we as women really expect a lot from our men? Do we get frustrated with our men because we can't live the way we think we deserve to live, or because we can't live the way we need to live? For me, an example of the former is when you compare your lifestyle with those of the rich or your better off friends, while an example of the latter is when your man spends his salary on himself and expects you to support him and the household.

Simplistically, most of our money quarrels can be split into the above 2 groups. If our disenchantment with our men is due to the former group, then we need to reflect if we are being too materialistic. If it is to egg the man to earn more, then we need a better way to put it.

Working in the cleaning industry, the preciousness -- what's the word for it? -- of the hard earned money comes through really clearly. The cleaners earn, including allowances, about $800. This is already considered high as the previous group i was in contact with only earned $650. Imagine your daily wage is $20! If you are with a man working as a cleaner, how do you expect him to support a fanciful lifestyle? Shouldn't you be understanding and live within your means? Or do you blow your top cos you can't buy new stuff frequently? If you love him, then understand his predicament and live within your combined means. If you just want Christmas, then look for a Santa Claus who can give you presents everyday.

Money is really hard earned. I just hope that my 3 seedlings will learn this and that, should dear & i ever have our little cub, we can inculcate this in him too...

Official opening today

Noon was the official opening of my workplace today. Heard that a minister was garlanding the 1st batch of passengers and they also had a goodie bag. So lucky right? Only the first batch got it. Imagine if you were the next batch! So ai wan right? But that's life lor. Its the luck of the draw. Either you get the short straw or you don't.

So am i envious? No... Why? Cos no attention to my side ma. Let the other contract get the glory la! And no, its not sour grapes here. As i mentioned, its the luck of the draw. Hearing the amount of walkie-talkie transmissions for the other contract, my side is considered very lucky! Also, as the other ARM for the other side mentioned to me this morning, my passengers have to go through his gate holdroom first, so his contract gets the full load of passengers, unlike mine. He feels i'm so lucky. Heehee!

ren bi ren, qi si ren. So true! So be contented with what you have. There is always the other side, but remember, you are 'the other side' to the other side too. There's no end to comparisons so why make yourself troubled or agitated, thinking and comparing to others? Will it make your life better? No right? Then why waste energy? Be happy! :)

Why so rude?

Went to do spot check at 3am today, so went to work a bit late. Caught the 730am eastbound train, which by then was crowded but still ok. After Tanjong Pagar someone behind me got up to alight. I turned slightly to give him space, intending to take the seat, but a man, about 45 years old, took the opportunity when i was angled to slide in and took my seat! And he's so fit looking too! I was so disgusted, i glared at him. Later at City Hall the seat beside him was empty, so i took it. Perhaps i was feeling bitchy, but i sat rather near him. Haha, quite easy to look natural doing that as i am like Horus, round-round all round! So horrible, the manners of men nowadays!

Up till now, when dear & i go out to eat, we will wait for the other's food to arrive before attacking our own. For me, i will wait for my makan partner's food to arrive too, though i don't expect the same behaviour of them. However, i noticed that this isn't what many other people do, be it my colleagues or other dating couples. Isn't it polite to do so? Even if dear & i are married, we don't start eating until the other can, and i personally feel it is rather rude to gobble or eat my food when my makan partner is still waiting for his/hers and can only look at me eat or look away while i eat.

I suppose that most of us don't bother with our friends, but i still feel i should be considerate and not have them salivate -- haha! -- while i eat mine. Friends and friends alike, maybe the reason is that we are so 'shou' already so no need to be so courteous (however i think still need lor), but when i see couples doing that to each other, i feel sad for them. I'm glad i need not hint to dear about this; this was something that just came naturally to both of us when we first went out together.

Maybe i can only start one place at a time. Starting with my home? But no way i can teach Mr O or Horus boy to wait for the others to eat lor... :)

Treasure what you have

S8 had a post that was what i was thinking about early this year, which is to treasure what you have.

I was reflecting that i see a yellow tentage around my estate about once every fortnight. Given that the number of households here is almost similar to my past precinct, i think the only reason for the high number of yellow tentages is the age of the population here. Did they leave families grieving that they did not show them how much they love them?

You never know what will happen to you the next moment. For all i may know, i could just keel over right now! Those chain email attachments about the present being a gift is true, though its become quite a cliche now.

You really don't know what you will have the next moment, so treasure what you have right now. I think it is a nice idea to thank God every morning you wake up, for giving you another day to live and to love. Of course it doesn't mean to spend all you have today, just to spend wisely and if you really die die must have that bak kut teh, to have it by all means. But its important to live wisely and happily too. What's the point in slogging so hard for a pay and in the process you make yourself miserable or unable to spend the money you've earned? What are you accumulating for? With a goal in sight, eg a trip, it makes sense. But to slog just so that you can be seen as better than your peers and you make yourself miserable? It doesn't make sense to me lor.

I treasure what i have. I treasure dear, my family, Mr O & Horus boy, my friends and the cats i befriend. I treasure the fact that i am able to work and earn a living so we can live comfortably, but after my first company, i do not want to work for a company where i will be miserable. I left the 2nd company to help a friend, but left the 3rd cos i did not agree with his business practices. Now i understand the predicament my client is facing from his bosses so i'm still ok here, but if the company expects unreasonable stuff from me, i will leave. I do not intend to work and be miserable. Why would i want to spend 1/3 of my life being miserable?

Do not worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow has worries enough of its own. Treasure what you have and never tire of telling or showing your loved ones that you love them. You may not have the chance to do it again.

Indecent exposure?

We were at a traffic junction just now. Before us was a bike which dear was admiring as we approached the junction. However, when we stopped behind them, what we saw was an exhibition that we could do without.

The pillion was plastered over the back of the rider. Or perhaps slumped would be a good description? Whatever it is, she wasn't sitting straight and was slouching behind as if the driver was a magnet and she was spineless and of the opposite charge.

But that wasn't what disgusted us. What we saw was the line of her buttocks. Her jeans was very low slung, her blouse has flown up -- this usually happens as you ride anyway, so that can't be helped -- and so what was exposed was a good 6 inches of flesh as well as a line at the bottom 2 inches. Her undergarments must have been very low too, or totally missing and flown off with the wind.

Is it so attractive to walk around or ride around with your butt line exposed to all and sundry? Perhaps she wanted to attract the rider or her boyfriend, but in doing so isn't she giving everyone a free show? And its not a 'public' area such as hands and arms too! Granted, it was previously indecent 100 years ago to even show a glimpse of your ankles, but to show somewhere so near to your private parts is something i find positively indecent. The skirts nowadays are also so short, the women wearing them might just wrap a cloth band around their hips since these skirts show so much of their crotch area.

Nothing a woman wears gives any man the right to attack her sexually, but given the sight that was staring at me for the good 5 minutes we were behind them, no wonder some rapists claim that their victim's dressing was provocative. Yes, the dressing may be provocative but the man can always be civilised and restrain himself. However, i feel that this woman was just advertising her wares too blatently and any man would not be wrong in thinking that she is sending out sexual signals.

Am i getting fuddy-duddier as i grow older? Perhaps i am just getting less tolerant of the looseness of the youngsters nowadays. But that was certainly a sight i would not want to ever see again.

Sleeping Horus

Saw Horus sleepling in a spot of sunlight by the kitchen window just now, looking so comfortable. Being black, he heats up very fast! Actually wanted to bathe him, but he looks so happy sleeping that i feel bad that i have to spoil his nap... :(

Well, going to catch him very soon, the moment i get his bathing stuff ready! Just hope he doesn't end up bathing me as well. heehee!

Children

Saw a bunch of children while on the train back home. They are just so noisy, undisciplined and misbehaved! The worst of it was that their parents just let them scream and be utter brats and didn't bother to control them at all. I was already tired, being at office since 630 this morning, and i had no peace on my journey back! sigh...

I think i'm just too old now to even think of having children. In fact, looking at the children around me and especially at my work place, which is a public building, i can't help but think that children nowadays are so undisciplined. What are the parents thinking? Heaven forbid that i should ever be a parent of such a disgrace!

Having children isn't just about having sex and continuing your family name, right? Popping out a kid is a matter of 40 weeks, but the act doesn't just end there. You have to bring them up and inculcate good values in them. Basically, you're responsible for them for life! Can you imagine releasing an evil strain outside? And yet, i don't see many well behaved children now. How did our parents do it?

Maybe there's a good logic to the old practice of centuries ago, when husband and wife sleep separately and only sleep together when they want to have children. In this way, they are sure that the child is wanted and they are prepared for the child that may come. Look at the poor baby that was abandoned recently. Being born and then abandoned...

Maybe i should just not have children...

Work problems

Sigh... Facing problems at work with a management staff.

He's originally redeployed for my post, but he is unable to use the PC and also unable to type, reply/send emails, communicate effectively with the client and other parties. On top of that, it seems he is unable to grasp -- or was it unwilling to grasp? -- the administrative aspects of the job. As such, with the first being the main reason, he was reallocated to the 3rd shift. But from the work that i see left behind for the 1st shift, and the one time i saw him at work at night, i think he's just not interested or just trying to get me into trouble.

True enough, the client complained during the meeting today that my 3rd shift is not moving. sigh... But as my HQ has yet to submit the organization chart to them, i'm officially still not the RM, so i was pretty invisible during the meeting.

I later complained to the 1st shift ARM -- he's the son of the boss -- about the work that i see left behind by T. I suggested shifting T to the 1st shift and reassigning him as a trainer to get the 1st & 2nd shift up to the standard expected of us by the client, as otherwise there'll be problems as he just isn't controlling the 3rd shift workers. That night i went back, the office was a mess and he didn't bother to control them! sigh... :(

How do you exert your control over a senior, ie old in terms of age, staff whom you have replaced? And bearing in mind this old staff is very sore and threatening to resign? Dear said to just get rid of him. I would like to do that, but it'll create resentment among the older staff. But he's really a deadweight! sigh sigh sigh...

Parents...

Was chatting with my admin asst today and she complained to me about her daughter, whom she said was wishy-washy about sending her son to the doctor for vaccination. I know i'm a bit hard of hearing, but i thought my AA meant her son, ie the AA's son. It turns out that my AA was refering to her daughter and her son. My AA is a grandma!

During lunch, i was chatting with her again. Turns out that that my AA is a grandma of 3, eldest granddaughter being 4 years and the 2 younger grandsons are 3 years & 18months. And yup, all are the children of her eldest daughter. Here comes the shocking news -- her eldest daughter, the one mentioned in the first paragraph, is 20 years old this year & my AA is about 43 years old. So this means her daughter was a mother at 16 years old!

Later on our way home -- we took the same MRT -- i saw a woman wearing a rosary. This is, as i explained to my AA, a set of prayer beads used by Catholics to say a set of 195 prayers. I was quite upset as you don't use religious items as accessories! My AA then told me that she finds young people nowadays being too casual, but she also said something which i agree -- we can't judge people as we are not fit to do so. She quoted herself, as her own daughter is not an example to uphold.

Thinking about it, i think none of us are actually fit to be parents, though we try our best when we are in the position. No one is perfect, except God. However, i believe that how we are is actually a reflection of our parents. Although it doesn't mean that if i wear short skirts, my mum also wears short skirts, i think my behaviour reflects on my upbringing and therefore on my parents and their set of values. I think this is especially true of us when we are young because who we are is moulded by our primary care-givers, usually our parents. That is why, when we comment that a child 'mei you jia jiao', i think it is actually hitting very hard on the parents.

I don't think i'll ever be ready to be a mother. Also, i wouldn't want a maid to be the primary care-giver of my children, because the maid may not be giving my children the values i want them to have. It really is not an easy task to bring up a child, and the knowledge that you are releasing someone with that set of values in the world, is daunting. sigh...